I Feel So Alone.

I'm always behind the scenes, never the star. I'm always the friend, never the girl.

I was actually cleaning up my old files on my computer when I found this note. I can’t believe I wrote this. 😀

June 21, 2011

I always wanted to walk away, far from the things I’m not used to be. But this crazy little thing called love would always change my mind. I can go back to my old little ways anytime if I want to, but my heart will always seek for happiness, and happiness lives here. I’m always caught in between living an easy but sad life or living the hard way but happy, and I choose to stay.

For 22 years, no one really understood me. I’m always misunderstood and rejected. I’m so tired of doing good things to others but in return they would stabbed me at the back. No one appreciates all my hardworks. So sometimes, it felts better to walk away, far from people and live alone.

I have no friends, no best friend, no family, nothing at all.

So what’s the difference of staying and leaving? Does it make sense now?

No one really cares.

The movie I watched earlier is a perfect way of describing what love is. Jesus died on the cross so that we sinful people will be saved. Yes, He still love us though we always rejects Him and though we never felt love for Him. But we human are just so fragile. We own a human heart that grew tired if rejected. I love the movie.

Guess I was on an emotional height during these times. I can’t even remember the title of the movie. 😀

Sometimes, we can’t believe how different we are when our emotions ruled over us. Unconsciously we feel okay, but when our emotions starts to play, we are totally a different person.

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One thought on “I Feel So Alone.

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