I want to forgive and forget.

Nobody is perfect. Everyone in the world knows that fact.

I can say that my past is a nightmare. There’s a lot of instances in my past where I can’t imagine myself being on that situation again. People judge, lovers left, friends betrays, words are misinterpreted, actions are taken wrongly, it’s sucking the life out of me and I can’t breathe, I was lost.

There was one point in my life where my college classmates turned their backs on me, and the most painful part, that includes my closest friend “she-who-must-not-be-named”, whom I considered a sister and a family as well. I really don’t know what happened, I don’t exactly know what or how it all became a nightmare.

As far as I can remember,  “she-who-must-not-be-named” and I exchanged words in Facebook. As the conversation goes on, I noticed that she started being sarcastic and that hurts me.  She posted bitter Facebook statuses and though my name was not mentioned, I know it was me she’s referring to.

Then one day, I saw most of them (my college classmates) posting bitter words against me, saying “I really don’t like her in the first place”, “I really hate her”, “who in the world she thinks she is?”. Reading them breaks me apart.

How could they say that? We have shared laughter and tears for 4 years, have sleep overs, been a crying shoulder to each other, then without a warning you’ll just find out that they don’t like you after along time of being together. Then I realized that I needed to label them as fake.

I deactivated my Facebook account to get rid of them.  Yes, I decided to forget that I have them in my life for 4 long years when all we have are fake moments. For me it was a genuine friendship, but for them it was nothing but pretensions.

However, I moved on. I choose to live a life away from worries, hatred, and fear. I choose to live a life full of love and happiness. I don’t want to deal with people that doesn’t deserve my love, attention, time and effort.

Living away from my hometown helps a lot. It gives me a brand new beginning to start my life fresh. I spend my time working for 9 hrs and blogging for 4-6 hours after work everyday. I’m loving it, seriously.

I could have cursed them for hurting me, I could have punched their faces if I  was given the chance to, I could have said bitter words in exchanged to all that have been said against me, but I didn’t. I don’t want to be like them –  full of hatred. All I really wanted is a genuine friendship, a True Love, a peaceful and a happy life, a loving family, a great well-paid job, more time for blogging and a healthy life for all the people I love. That’s all I really wanted.

So for those who have caused me pain, you are all forgiven. I wished that God will touch your heart and heal all the insecurities inside your body. I hope that you’ll find peace within yourself so that you won’t hurt somebody else again just because you yourself can’t find peace. I also pray that you learn the value of friendship.

All our memories are still inside my head and I can always think of it whenever I wanted to, but I consider those as bad memories, so I’m not going to think about it anymore. My mind only recognize happy thoughts.

You are all forgiven.

Please let me live my own life and mind your own business. Just in case you happen to read my blogs and view my Facebook Page, I hope that you know what the word respect is.

Honestly speaking, I don’t want to hear any news or stories about you guys, I don’t even want to remember all your names, much more see your faces.

Just let me live the life I wanted and comments from you are not accepted. I don’t want to hear any comments from the people who was never been true to me. I know that you will only throw negative words and again, I only love happy thoughts. If there’s someone who would correct my mistakes and would tell me I am wrong, it would only be the people whom I considered true and genuine, those that  would give me constructive criticism and not haters like you.

You hurt me once, you can never hurt me twice.

One thought on “I want to forgive and forget.

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