HOW TO CARRY YOURSELF GRACEFULLY AND REALISTICALLY INTO A NEW YEAR

 

1. Please keep what happened in 2015 in 2015. I know you have a tendency to carry the pain and the bad memories because its better to feel bad than feel nothing, but how much longer are you going to keep moving backwards like this? Think of a box and deposit everything that happened this year in it and put a lock on it. Bury it if you have to.

2. Let all that has hurt you this year, go. Let it go. Loosen your grip on what isnt yours anymore. It was the most precious thing but its not anymore. Its okay. Dont think good things wont happen anymore. You have claw marks on your palms from holding onto it so tight. Dont suffocate it. Dont suffocate yourself. It was dark before too, but then you saw the light. Itll happen again. It has to. It will. Thats how the universe works.

3. Have a thicker skin with a warm heart. Dont be afraid of being loved again. Dont be afraid of loving again. Dont be afraid of saying NO, dont be afraid of saying YES, and dont be afraid of saying how much you love someone. Hold your own shivering hands. It feels so quiet, so comfortable, being by yourself but I know how much you want to be with people that can make you feel truly happy. Open your eyes. Look around you. All these things that make it hard to breathe are just invisible things. Breathe, breathe. Breathe. One day it wont hurt anymore.

4. You expect a lot because you are willing to do that for others. Darling, that isnt how everyone is. Dont live your life thinking that people will be good to you because youre good to them. Dont think that theyll jump from the bridge for you because youll do that without a second thought. Dont think that makes you overbearing. Dont hate that about yourself. Were fathomless. We feel empty but we still keep on giving and giving. Never lose the will to give love. No matter how much unkindness you suffer. Dont become them. The moment you reciprocate their hatred with hatred, its over, youre one of them. Breathe, breathe in all the rage, all the hurt and breathe it out. Let it go. Its okay.

5. I hope someday youll look at the pictures from 2015 and it wont be so painful. I hope one day you stop wishing you could go through the screen into that time and just hug the smiling people in the picture. I hope you dont have the tendency to delete them because you cant deal with the pain and that seems like the only way. I hope someday in 2016, youll stop wishing that you could back in time to feel happy.

6. Fix your mistakes in 2015. Apologize. Forgive. Forget. It happened, it happened, it happened. Its a part of your life now. Accept it, accept it, and accept it. Make it your armor. Dont flinch when people mention it. Dont turn your back. Dont look down at your feet. Its nothing to be ashamed of. You made mistakes. Youre human. Youre you. Dont be sorry for accepting your mistake. Dont be put down by people who dont know what it takes to bow your head down and accept ones mistakes. Dont be them. Accept responsibility for your actions. Accept, accept, accept. Be humbler than they expect you to be.

7. Make a list of things that make you happy youre alive and breathing. Things that make you want to get out of bed. It gets harder to find reasons to get out of bed but please search inside yourself. Things arent permanent. People arent permanent. This sorrow isnt permanent. There is always another chance to fix your mistakes. There are always new years, you know?

8. Do something this year that youve been thinking of doing for years. Learn how to play a guitar, start singing loudly even when they stare at you, dance in the middle of night on your bed, start saying, ‘I love youto your parents, let people celebrate your birthday, let them share your happiness, let them share your unhappiness, youre not burdening them, theyre in your life because they love you, let them love you for what you are. Dont die a mystery. Let everyone know who you really are. Dont fear rejection from others. Dont be afraid of being unwanted. Dont think youre the only one who feels abandoned and unwanted. Everybody is like that, even if they dont show it. Were all humans. Just because we live in different countries doesnt negate that fact. Dont forget that the people who hurt you are humans too. They forget you are but you shouldnt.

9. Dont define yourself by all the bad things that happened to you, or bad things that you did in 2015. Dont define yourself by everything that you regret doing in 2015. You still carry the regrets from the previous years, its enough. Its enough. Start changing that from now on. Define yourself by your favourite book, your favourite song, how you mom loves you, how much you dad looks out for you, how much your sister/brother looks up to you, how much you love pizza or ice-cream or whatever that makes you happy. Define yourself by all the good things youve said in 2015. Its not selfish to make yourself feel good about yourself. Trying to forget the bad things isnt cowardice; it takes guts to do that. Stop hating yourself for trying to be happy.

10. Its okay to feel bad at the beginning of every year. Even if it was a bad year, it leaves a hole in your life. It wasnt a waste. Really. So much happened, so much didnt happen. Turn your head to the front. New chances are here; new beginnings are here, a new year. Dont fall in the same routine. Just dont. Whats done is done. Whatever happened happened. What will happen from now is in your hands. What are you going to do now?

Submitted to ArtParasites by Oshin Ahlawat

Shy Away No More From Living

 

Strip away. Make home in your essentials again. Submerge your heart, bursting, beating beauty to the world. Be bold in your love. use your voice. Unhide your tears. Wear your tragedies in your eyes as much as your joys and feel ashamed no longer for them. Give up on existing. Shy away no more from living. You are worthy. Of aliveness. Of electricity. Of holding your head up high, no matter what.

Unsent Letters: Ang kabullshitan ng closure

Lakas lang makahugot nitong post na to from Rappler… Kung ako yung tipong may pinagdadaanan nung nabasa ko to malamang dinibdib ko to… Kaya nung nabasa ko to natawa na lang ako… Totoo nga yung ‘All wounds heal in time…’ Kasi pag natripan ko ng mag throwback instead na malungkot, natatawa na lang ako. So kung kayo yung tipong may pinagdadaanan ngayon, lilipas din yan eventually… 🙂


Unsent Letters is a newsletter curated by Shakira Sison featuring unspoken sentiments gathered from reader submissions. It features unsent letters to real and imagined lovers. Rappler publishes Unsent Letters every Saturday.

unsent lettters

Tapos na tayo. At kahit balikan mo pa ang pahina kung saan nakasulat ang kwento natin, hindi mo na mababago iyon.

Sinabi mo noon na magiging lubos lang ang kaligayahan mo sa oras na pakawalan kita. Mali ka. Ako ang sumaya habang ikaw ngayon ay baon sa alaala ng ating nakaraan na…

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The Lover Before Me

I know you as far as what he’s been telling me about you. I’m not sure if you know me but that doesn’t matter–the one thing that we have in common is that we love the same man.

He talked about you almost all the time–so much that I had the notion that he wasn’t over you yet. We weren’t officially “dating” at the time but we’ve spent hours, if not days “flirting” (for the lack of a better term) with each other. It was cool with me. Besides, you were a big part of his past that I have to accept whether I like it or not. During those times, he shared the joys and the heartaches of your now-former relationship. That’s the only way in which I knew you–no more, no less.

I don’t really care about what happened between the two of you, but I cared to listen to his musings anyway. Through those stories, I came to know him more. I came to know and realize how much of a wonderful man he is. I don’t really know the circumstances that surrounded your relationship at that time, but that makes one wonder why it ended up that way.

He was distraught over the realization that it was over. It took him weeks, if not months to get over it and once he did, he came out wounded but stronger. When I met him, the wounds had healed but the scars were there, and I know it will never go away. The only thing I can do is to accept him for who he is and all the things he has been through.

I had a hard time convincing him that it’s not the end of the world. I understand it’s a horrible feeling to realize that you’ve been hurt by the one person whom you love and trust with your whole being. But it’s even harder to convince someone who’s been left that not all people are like that. It took a lot of time and patience but it paid off in the end. Now, I have his love and could not ask for anything else.

I have a lot of things to thank you for. Thank you for teaching me how to love him. You may have not taught me that directly but by learning about the tragedy that was your relationship, I learned from the lessons it taught both you and him. Thank you for doing what you did–morbid as it may sound it gave me the chance to experience how it feels to be loved by a guy as great as he is. I could never thank you enough for breaking his heart.

It’s NOT Just About Saying “Sorry”

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