1. Please keep what happened in 2015 in 2015. I know you have a tendency to carry the pain and the bad memories because it’s better to feel bad than feel nothing, but how much longer are you going to keep moving backwards like this? Think of a box and deposit everything that happened this year in it and put a lock on it. Bury it if you have to.
2. Let all that has hurt you this year, go. Let it go. Loosen your grip on what isn’t yours anymore. It was the most precious thing but it’s not anymore. It’s okay. Don’t think good things won’t happen anymore. You have claw marks on your palms from holding onto it so tight. Don’t suffocate it. Don’t suffocate yourself. It was dark before too, but then you saw the light. It’ll happen again. It has to. It will. That’s how the universe works.
3. Have a thicker skin with a warm heart. Don’t be afraid of being loved again. Don’t be afraid of loving again. Don’t be afraid of saying NO, don’t be afraid of saying YES, and don’t be afraid of saying how much you love someone. Hold your own shivering hands. It feels so quiet, so comfortable, being by yourself but I know how much you want to be with people that can make you feel truly happy. Open your eyes. Look around you. All these things that make it hard to breathe are just invisible things. Breathe, breathe. Breathe. One day it won’t hurt anymore.
4. You expect a lot because you are willing to do that for others. Darling, that isn’t how everyone is. Don’t live your life thinking that people will be good to you because you’re good to them. Don’t think that they’ll jump from the bridge for you because you’ll do that without a second thought. Don’t think that makes you overbearing. Don’t hate that about yourself. We’re fathomless. We feel empty but we still keep on giving and giving. Never lose the will to give love. No matter how much unkindness you suffer. Don’t become them. The moment you reciprocate their hatred with hatred, it’s over, you’re one of them. Breathe, breathe in all the rage, all the hurt and breathe it out. Let it go. It’s okay.
5. I hope someday you’ll look at the pictures from 2015 and it won’t be so painful. I hope one day you stop wishing you could go through the screen into that time and just hug the smiling people in the picture. I hope you don’t have the tendency to delete them because you can’t deal with the pain and that seems like the only way. I hope someday in 2016, you’ll stop wishing that you could back in time to feel happy.
6. Fix your mistakes in 2015. Apologize. Forgive. Forget. It happened, it happened, it happened. It’s a part of your life now. Accept it, accept it, and accept it. Make it your armor. Don’t flinch when people mention it. Don’t turn your back. Don’t look down at your feet. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. You made mistakes. You’re human. You’re you. Don’t be sorry for accepting your mistake. Don’t be put down by people who don’t know what it takes to bow your head down and accept one’s mistakes. Don’t be them. Accept responsibility for your actions. Accept, accept, accept. Be humbler than they expect you to be.
7. Make a list of things that make you happy you’re alive and breathing. Things that make you want to get out of bed. It gets harder to find reasons to get out of bed but please search inside yourself. Things aren’t permanent. People aren’t permanent. This sorrow isn’t permanent. There is always another chance to fix your mistakes. There are always new years, you know?
8. Do something this year that you’ve been thinking of doing for years. Learn how to play a guitar, start singing loudly even when they stare at you, dance in the middle of night on your bed, start saying, ‘I love you’ to your parents, let people celebrate your birthday, let them share your happiness, let them share your unhappiness, you’re not burdening them, they’re in your life because they love you, let them love you for what you are. Don’t die a mystery. Let everyone know who you really are. Don’t fear rejection from others. Don’t be afraid of being unwanted. Don’t think you’re the only one who feels abandoned and unwanted. Everybody is like that, even if they don’t show it. We’re all humans. Just because we live in different countries doesn’t negate that fact. Don’t forget that the people who hurt you are humans too. They forget you are but you shouldn’t.
9. Don’t define yourself by all the bad things that happened to you, or bad things that you did in 2015. Don’t define yourself by everything that you regret doing in 2015. You still carry the regrets from the previous years, it’s enough. It’s enough. Start changing that from now on. Define yourself by your favourite book, your favourite song, how you mom loves you, how much you dad looks out for you, how much your sister/brother looks up to you, how much you love pizza or ice-cream or whatever that makes you happy. Define yourself by all the good things you’ve said in 2015. It’s not selfish to make yourself feel good about yourself. Trying to forget the bad things isn’t cowardice; it takes guts to do that. Stop hating yourself for trying to be happy.
10. It’s okay to feel bad at the beginning of every year. Even if it was a bad year, it leaves a hole in your life. It wasn’t a waste. Really. So much happened, so much didn’t happen. Turn your head to the front. New chances are here; new beginnings are here, a new year. Don’t fall in the same routine. Just don’t. What’s done is done. Whatever happened happened. What will happen from now is in your hands. What are you going to do now?
Submitted to ArtParasites by Oshin Ahlawat