A Message To My Ex

Dear Ex,

You gave me the best five years of my life. You told me I was perfect. You made me feel special. You were my best friend. We made up stories about our future. Do you remember them? Do you remember the way you kissed me and told me forever? Do you remember the long goodnight messages? When you cried to me and I cried to you? When we were the only people each other could really trust? And that last time we hung out, I fell asleep in your arms, you kissed me, and went to sleep yourself? I do, because that was the last time in months I fell asleep without crying. I found a candle that smells like you. It reminded me of that day. It made me happy until I realized she makes you happy. Damn I swear if she breaks your heart, I don’t know what I’ll do. You broke mine, and I don’t want you to go through this because it sucks.

I guess, there will always be a part of me who will love you, and I know you feel the same way. There are so many things that only I know very much about you, and you told me that it is something you find so hard to let go of. I will always love you.

It’s been nearly 3 months that I have given up on trying to grab back the one thing that made me happy rather than making my own happiness. I’m sorry that me loving you more than myself wasn’t good enough for you.

I owe you an apology. For all the dumb shit I said and did, and to say that you were right. I’m not upset anymore. I was dumb, and that was fucked up, but I learned for once. I dunno – I’m at peace with things; I hope you are too.

I would think you’re indifferent at best, livid at worst, and I can accept either or anything in between. I mostly just wanted to say you were right, and let you know I learned from my mistakes.

As of this writing, I want to let you know that someone loves me, as much as you do. I don’t know how to explain it, but I’m in love. I don’t have any indications or any proof of why I am and how have I been in this emotional roller coaster ride, but I guess it was just how it is.

And like you always say, if two people are meant to be together, eventually they’ll find their way back. I’m not waiting for that moment though, I’ll leave it to destiny. At this moment, all I want is to be happy, as much as you are right now, and I’m giving this love a chance.

You will always be with me no matter where I am, or where I go. I guess, that’s just how it works every time.


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