How to cope when you can’t be with someone you miss

At some point, everyone is separated from someone they really care about, and it sucks. Waiting is hard even if it’s for a short period of time like sitting through a class or waiting for the weekend. Some even have to wait for the nearest vacation to see someone they love. I mostly dealt with this since I am in a long distance relationship. Since I had to wait weeks, sometimes months, to see my guy,  I had to fill up my time with other stuff to get by.  And that’s exactly what you need to do.

1. Hangout with friends. Most relationships can cause people to drift away from the friends they were once close to since they spend so much time with their bf/gf. Since you’re gonna have more free time without yours, chose to hangout with your friends. There’s not really any better way to spend your time in my opinion, because they will listen to you and they’ll always make you feel better.

2. Try something new. Like: taking a class at one of those pottery places, cooking a nice dinner for your friends/family, riding your bike on an actual bike trail, dying/cutting your hair, getting an acrylic manicure, painting your room, volunteering, thrift shopping, etc.

3. Communicate with them as much as you can. Reserve a special time during the day to call them instead of text, it helps more to actually hear their voice and will give you something to look forward to. Since they are prolly missing you just as much as you’re missing them, try and make it easier for them too. Send them letters, drawings, to surprise them. Letters are awesome because they take time and are more personal than emails. Writing to them will help you miss them a little less because it’ll feel like they’re in your life more. Even better, when you are with them, hide a little note somewhere that they’ll find it later and think of you.

4. Make the best of being alone. When you get lonely light a pretty candle and read your favorite book. Watch YouTube videos that will make you smile, or paint your nails. Spending your time being comfortably alone is better than spending that time upset or crying. Try not to feel too bad for yourself and think of all the things you have to be thankful for.

5. Talk to someone about how you feel. Don’t let the sad feelings get build up. Don’t ignore your feelings and hide them away, cause people do care about how you feel.  If talking to your bff about your bf for an hour will make you feel better, then do it! Other people help alot more than you think.

I don’t like relationships that deal with distance, but I admire them. It’s sort of beautiful that someone can trust another even though they live far away, because that’s the most important thing in a relationship. Sure, you don’t get to hug the person, kiss the person, or wake up next to them-but you get to talk to them still. That moment when you see them again after a while is more meaningful, and special so that makes it worth it. You fight less, love more. So in some ways you’re happier because you appreciate each other more. I respect anyone that deals with this because it’s hard. Harder than a lot of things, but they’re worth it in the end. Feelings are feelings, love is love, so why let distance ruin your feelings for someone?

Remember: if you spend all your time wallowing in sadness over them you will go crazy, and probably the person you’re with too. You can’t rely on one person for your happiness because then what are you going to do when they’re gone? Think of this temporary separation as an opportunity to make your life better and happier. And I promise this is true- “absence makes the heart grow stronger!” If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with.

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