To The Man Who Healed My Worst Heartbreak Instantly

I have loved someone with all my heart only to end up being killed by its same enormity.

I loved someone and got the worst heartbreak in the history of my life.

And then HE came.

You know those days when you’re in the middle of a scorching summer and then the rain came? And it isn’t just a passing drizzle that’s gone just before you enjoy it. I’m talking about torrential rain pouring all of a sudden, not just moistening and damping the cracked and dried-up lands but more like nourishing it and washing away all the dust and weeds, making it healthier, allowing it to be fertile for flowers to grow on.

That’s what it’s like.

It came almost instantly–the healing. You know when you’re in the worst mood of all time then suddenly you’re favourite vent song came on the radio and you can’t help yourself but sing your heart and lungs and oesophagus out? When you’re in a horrible day and then you saw the dusk and all its colours and suddenly you tell yourself it’s a great world and a great life and a great time to start anew.

It’s like you screaming with all your might to declare you will never love again, and then suddenly, just suddenly, you did again.

That’s what it’s like.

So I have loved and had suffered the worst heartache in my book.

And then there came someone that washed away all the pain almost too snappily. Almost too sudden, too unreal, too unreasonably fast.

That’s what it’s like.

That’s what it’s like since HE came.

Tell The People You Love That You Love Them

I love being horribly straightforward. I love sending reckless text messages (because how reckless can a form of digitized communication be?) and telling people I love them and telling people they are absolutely magical humans and I cannot believe they really exist. I love saying, Kiss me harder, and You’re a good person, and, You brighten my day. I live my life as straight-forward as possible.

Because one day, I might get hit by a bus.

Maybe it’s weird. Maybe it’s scary. Maybe it seems downright impossible to just be—to just let people know you want them, need them, feel like, in this very moment, you will die if you do not see them, hold them, touch them in some way whether it’s your feet on their thighs on the couch or your tongue in their mouth or your heart in their hands.

But there is nothing more beautiful than being desperate.

And there is nothing riskier than pretending not to care.

We are young and we are human and we are beautiful and we are not as in control as we think we are. We never know who needs us back. We never know the magic that can arise between ourselves and other humans.

We never know when the bus is coming.

—Rachel C. Lewis, Tell The People You Love That You Love Them

Falling In Love With You

It has been 4 months since we found ourselves yearning for each other. It has been 4 months since I began to feel that I have to see you every single day. I can still recall how it feels when I realized that I am falling in love with you. It’s truly an inexplicable feeling. A feeling that I will never get tired of.

I miss your perfume, your jokes, your brown eyes, your hand that I always want to hold, the way you giggle, everything about you is amazing.

Every time I look at you, I feel scared, happy, and down all at the same time. I am scared to lose you; happy that I have you in my life; and down for all the pain that I’ve caused you.  I want to thank you for everything, my love. For buying food that I crave, for all the smiles you put on my lips, for understanding, listening and loving me the best way you could.

I can still recall how it feels when I realized that I am falling in love with you. It’s truly an inexplicable feeling. A feeling that I will never get tired of.

Thank you for all your sacrifices, for effortlessly reminding me every single day how wonderful life is. I am grateful for you have become my strength in times of my weaknesses. Thank you for the laughter and the pain, for it made me grow as a changed and better woman today.

Every pain and tears were all worth it. I would never want anybody else to hold my hand the way you do. This journey that we have right now is not easy to achieve. We had a lot of ups and downs, but both of us never gave up. We still have each other because we choose to work things out.

I never prayed that God will spare our relationship from experiencing trials. Instead, I always pray that He guide us in every trial we are about to face.

Today, as I recall our first “I love you’s” I can still feel the same way and it never changed. It will never change, my love. In everything that you do, always remember that I am here to support you. I’ll always be your food buddy, best friend, and partner. You are wonderful. You are part of my plans for the future and I am excited to know what’s in store for us for the years to come.

I love you.

DARLING, IT’S TIME TO MOVE ON AND LET GO.

I know you still think of him. I know you still write about him in your journal. I know there are still things, events, or places that remind you of him. I know you’re still hurting. I know you’re still hoping that one day, maybe, just maybe your paths will cross again.

But hey darling, he’s already madly in love with someone else. He’s perfectly happy now. He no longer thinks of you. He no longer cares about you. You’re just a memory he buried a long time ago. He’s never coming back for you.

Darling, remember this, some good things never last and you just have to let it go.

Yes, you tried to work things out, but it didn’t worked. It didn’t worked simply because you don’t “fit”. What you want doesn’t coincide to what he wants. Your priorities are not inlined with his priorities. What you ask, he cannot fulfill, even if he’s giving you everything that he’s got, but for you, it’s just ain’t enough. You think he doesn’t exert much effort, but the truth is, you just aren’t fit for each other.

I know how much it hurts when you terribly love someone and desperately would want to make things right but everything is out of sync no matter how hard you try. Yet sometimes, that’s just how things work.

Now you wonder how the new love of his life made him so happy and content. And you keep asking yourself what you’ve done differently that made him unhappy. You thought that his next relationship would end up just the same because when you broke up with him, to you he was completely immature; a broken man that needs fixing, but you’re wrong.

The painful truth is, the man you still love already found his “perfect fit”. He’s doing everything he can to be the best man he can be for her without trying so hard. And she brings out the best in him without forcing him to do so. Yes, he was once broken, but she filled his cracks with so much love and support, that he slowly got healed. They well compliment each other.

So darling, don’t be sad. The point here is, you will soon find you’re missing the piece, your perfect fit. But you won’t find him if you are still hoping for someone who’s never going to be there for you any longer. You have to let go and move on. Focus on yourself and not with your past. Never look back. Move forward. Keep going. One day you will wake up and you will be happy again.

Dear Mom: A Letter Of Gratitude To All Mothers

One day out of the year, we have this beautiful opportunity to give back to people who have given us so much: our moms.

We love them (at times, maybe not so much) and as we get older, sometimes, we become them. Whether she carried you inside of her for nine months or is a non-blood related woman who has loved you like her own, most people can identify a person who they can be thankful for on this holiday.

So, Mom, this one is for you.

Thank You For Your Unconditional Love And Friendship

You are my best friend and you always have been. I’ve seen your love when you attended the most important events in my life, posted on Facebook about how proud you are of me and when you comforted me at times that life became a little too tough to handle. Not to mention, you have shown me how to love others and how to love them well.


Thank You For Showing Me Grace When I Didn’t Deserve It

Perhaps it is easier for me to take my frustrations out on you than anyone else in this world because you love me limitlessly and unconditionally. There were times when I was a total brat to you; I was rude, selfish and unkind. Still, you loved me anyway, and for that, I am forever grateful.


Thank You For Comforting Me Through Heartbreaks

Thanks for letting me cry on your bed when boys did not treat me well. You always said the right things. Thanks for always taking my side when it came to relationships.


Thank You For Giving Me Everything

You never told me no and I appreciate that generosity. I know kids can be expensive and demanding.

From supporting me emotionally through my awkward middle school days, to sacrificing your personal time after your long days at work to talk me through my problems when no one else cared, to supporting me financially through college, you have always been there.

You have sacrificed so much in order to give me a better life than you had when you were a kid.


Thank You For Always Believing In Me

Life has been difficult and there have been times when I’ve felt like giving up, when things were not going my way. Each time, you were there to remind me of my worth as a human being.

You encouraged me to keep reaching for the unreachable and never settle for anything less than I deserved. No matter how bizarre my dreams were — you always told me to go after what would make me happy.

As I get older, I realize more and more how much you have done for me and continue to do every day.

This Mother’s Day, thank whomever you call “Mom” for being the best on the planet at her job. Happy Mother’s Day, Mom.