Giving Up Is Not An Option

Last night was a heart-wrenching evening for us. I haven’t cried as many tears like that for quite some time. I remember, I cried a bucket of tears last year when my 5-years-relationship has ended, but never as many tears and as much pain like last night.
Our relationship has been rocky these past few days. I have been so sensitive and irrational and you were too logical that we don’t seem to meet halfway. At some point, I felt tired of trying, I know that was so lame of me to even give up just like that, but the feeling of having a hard time making things work and the agony of distance combined altogether was horribly exhausting.
There is no doubt that we are madly in love with each other but there’s just this point in our life where things are hard, we don’t even understand why. I said things that hurt you. I utter words that made you think I don’t want this relationship anymore and I’m sorry, that’s not what I wanted. Heaven knows you are all I ever wanted. This relationship is all I ever wanted. I want to be with you very soon. I can’t afford to lose you. I can’t afford to lose what we have, not this way, love.
We both cried out of frustration because we both want to make things work so badly but lately it was just so effing hard. But you love me so much you confessed how much you want to keep me and how you badly want me in your life. I didn’t know you love me that much. All along I thought I was the one loving you more. Although I know it doesn’t matter whose love is greater, but as they say, in a relationship, there’s this one person who loves more than the other—and that was you. I was crying so hard because I realized I was wrong all these time. I see things differently and I am so guilty as to why our relationship is struggling. It was because of my crooked thinking. I will never let my thoughts control me ever again. I will hang on to my faith and to the fact that you love me and we can do this together despite the distance. You said you don’t believe in luck, you believe in making things possible, that one day, we will be together. And no distance can ever come between us.
Oh God, I am so blessed to have you. I swear I will never trade your love for anything else in this world. I will love you with all of me, I promise.
Last night, I realised how much you love me and how willing you are to do everything that you can to keep me and make me happy. Last night, I learned a lot. I know this relationship will stand the test of time, I just know. You even believe much more than I do, that we are meant to be, and you will make it possible. We are going to make that possible. Giving up is not an option like you always say.
I love you, darling.
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