The Only Thing I Know

When you just get into a relationship, people like to ask: “Is he the one?

The question will never be whether the person is “the one” because there is never just one person in your life. Instead, the question must be: “Can you see a future with him?” And my answer for you will always be the same, “Yes.”

I don’t know what is ahead for us and I don’t know what the future holds. I  know we are planning to get married and have children in the future. However, I don’t know if I will always love the way you say sorry all the time because, in your words, I am worth more than an argument. I don’t know if I will want you tomorrow like I want you since the day I met you. I don’t know many things, but I know this:

I know I want an “us” no matter what us means.

I know I want to be your bride on your wedding day.

I know I want to be the mother of your children.

I know I want you now.

I know I love you now.

It took me 27 years before I finally found you. Since then, I have this constant battle to allow myself to stop being fearful of the unknown future. It took awhile for me to be okay with the fact that things are never certain but I will face my fears because I know you are worth it. Most importantly, it took me a long time to believe with the fact that God has prepared a man for me to spend a lifetime with because there was a point in my life where I almost gave up on love, almost.

I know I want you. Yet I don’t know if I will want you tomorrow, or next week, or even in the next minute. But every day, every thousandth of a second, I make a decision that I want you, and to me, that’s worth a lot more than I want you forever.

I want you now, because as I type this, you are approximately 256.91 miles away from me, yet I know your heart is on me.

I want you now because you always know what to say, you always know how I feel, and even though how many times I tried to pretend that I don’t love you or I am only playing games on you, you can tell that I am lying because you can feel deep in your core that I really love you, wordless yet poetic.

The only thing I know about the future is that we both want each other,we want to build a home together, and make beautiful babies. I know that you are going to fight for me and I know that you won’t give up on me. I know I want you, and I’m excited, every day, to find out how I will want you tomorrow.

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