If You Think You Will Never Be Happy Again, Read This

A month ago, my thirteen months and twelve days long distance relationship ended. But, what you will be reading here is not about what happened, or that I miss him, or that I can’t let him go, or that I want him back. No, hell no. In fact, I’m glad it’s over.

This is about the life I found after I finally got out of the hell I was in for over a year.

I would be lying to myself and to everyone if I say our breakup didn’t break me. It did break and hurt me like hell. In fact, I really thought I won’t survive. That the earth will eat me alive, that my life is over, or that I will never be happy again. Crappy, same old, drama.

I am here to tell you that life is beautiful.

That same day, I went out to meet with friends, tell them what happened, drink some beer (only in tolerable doses, I still care for my liver) and asked God to give me strength through prayers. I did the same routine for 30 days. I did everything to survive. I did not give my brain some time and space to allow bad memories to flashback, even good ones. I did everything to survive, to move on, to accept, and to forgive. And yes, I survived.

I am here to tell you to help yourself.

I totally understand how much it hurts to lose someone you deeply love. I get that, it sucks the life out of you. But remember, things happen for a reason, and let me tell you this, the reason is always beautiful and surprising. Beautiful, because once someone leaves, better things are coming. Surprising, because whoever comes, it will surely be greater than who left.

Do everything that you can to forget. I don’t care if you need to go out and see friends every day. I don’t care if you need to sleepover at your girl friend’s house every night. I don’t care if you need to post all your dramas on Facebook, or to any social media that you owned. I don’t care, just move on, be happy, let go of the guilt, the hurt, and the insecurities.

Don’t let anyone stop you from doing the things that make you feel better because no one has the right to tell you what is right and what is wrong this time. In your current state, you are your own boss. You know yourself better. You know what makes you feel ok, so go ahead and live your life the way you think it is hurt-free.

I am here to tell you that you always have a choice.

You can lock yourself in your room, cry the entire day, ask yourself what went wrong, allow your thoughts to eat you—you can hella do that if you want. Do that for a week, months, or even years, no one will stop you.

But, I know that one day, you will tell yourself that you don’t want to grieve for your loss anymore, that you are tired of it all. And, you will finally decide to forget and move on. So, why not do it right away? Why do you put yourself in a hellish situation, if later on, you will still decide to move on? (Take note: MOVING ON IS A CHOICE). You see, at the end of it all, you will still choose to be ok. Let me tell you now, do it. Choose to be ok. Don’t make yourself suffer any longer because darling, you deseve to be happy.

I am here to tell you that you will be happy again.

If forgetting and moving on is a choice, much more being happy.

Go out, meet new friends, help a stranger, double your efforts at work, do something different, find a new hobby, cook a meal for your family, spend time with your cousins, play with your pet, read a book, try new places to eat or dine, go on long drives, treat a friend, watch a movie, pamper yourself, color your nails, have some eyelash extension, give yourself a very relaxing massage, go to the beach, alone or with friends, sponsor a child, hit the gym, try something different, change your routine. Be weird, be crazy, be wild, be something different. In no time, you’ll get by, and you will be ok, guaranteed.

I am here to tell you that you will love and get hurt again.

You will meet new people. You will like someone. You will love them but it is not guaranteed that they will love you back. It’s either they are in a relationship or they just don’t like you at all. For whatever reason, you will fall in love again, and that’s life.

This time you are stronger, braver, and most importantly, you know better.

I am here to tell you that you are not alone.

Yes, even if you feel so effing alone. Even if you are ‘literally’ alone, you are not. Your family, friends, and above all, God is with you in this new journey. After all, God is the one who is redirecting you to a new path to save you. Sometimes, God breaks our hearts for a number of reasons.

It could be that our hearts lead us astray. When God gives us a partner, we work toward that point as if our life depended on it (because we think it does). And somewhere along the way, that person can become our god. And God becomes an afterthought that we occasionally ask to bless our relationship. And just like that, our hearts have led us astray.

It could also be that God is jealous. Often, our partner becomes our God. We make it into an idol and organize our life in worship to it. Whether it is a relationship, career path, academic degree, status symbol, or to-do list we are determined to complete, when that becomes the ruling authority in our lives, it is an idol. And God is a jealous God. He wants to be number one in our hearts and lives. Because He is God – that is His right.

Another thing is that God loves us. In breaking our hearts, God is rescuing us from ourselves. God breaks our hearts, not to hurt us or because He enjoys our pain – no! God breaks our hearts when we have become so focused on something, rather than on Him. He breaks our heart because it is the only way He can save us from ourselves. He breaks our heart because it is the only way to remove a person that is not best for His daughter.

And most of all, God is seeking a relationship. I remembered that God had set me on this path, but had not promised the endpoint. Many times God may lead us down a certain path toward an unknown door.  We, of course, are focused solely on the door at the end of the journey.  When we reach the end, we may find that the door is locked. God did not lie or forsake us. We may be distracted by the human goal, but God was leading us toward an eternal goal – a closer relationship with Him.

What do you do when God breaks your heart?

When God breaks your heart, hand Him the pieces.

Because He is good and trustworthy and He will always do the best thing.  God is good, and even though your relationship ended, your heart rested securely in the arms of our Savior. Looking back, you see now that God had to break your heart to remove that person so that He could guide you to a far better one. God was acting in your best interest, even though it hurts.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart.” (Prov. 3:5-6)

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